Darned school bus!
I have been managing to hold it together pretty well over
the past couple of weeks.
I thought I was actually going to make it to Monday without
any sniffling, whimpering, or all-out, full-face, ugly crying.
And then I saw a school bus this morning on my way to work.
It suddenly hit me that there was going to be no more
yelling downstairs for her to hurry up and get ready or she was going to miss
the bus.
It suddenly hit me that there wasn’t going to be any more
standing in the front window and watching her walk down to the bus stop at the
corner…
No more grinning as she turned around to make sure I was
still standing there…
No more waving at her or picking up the cat and letting her
see him waving back too…
No more.
I’m going to miss making her lunch and setting out her lunch
bag on the counter every morning; And yes, I do realize that I am kind of a
nerd for doing that but it truly was one of my favourite things to do.
I’m going to miss the odd occasion I found myself driving
her to school and taking her to the Timmy’s drive-thru to pick up a cup of tea
to help warm her up during her first class.
I already miss our breakfasts at the kitchen table together.
I’m not going to miss the two of us battling for space in
front of the bathroom mirror as we brushed our teeth and beautified ourselves
in preparation for the day, or the trail of books and clothes and school
supplies all over the house on various days and for various reasons.
Oh, who am I kidding? I’m going to miss all of that stuff;
some of it far sooner than later.
If seeing that random school bus affected me so strongly
today, how am I going to get through watching her pull out of my driveway in
her father’s truck on Monday morning? How will I be able to walk back into the
house on Monday night after being in Hamilton all day at the football game
(fingers crossed) knowing that she’s not going to be there to hug when I get
home?
My goal is to get through Monday.
After that? I have to get through Tuesday.
And then Wednesday.
One foot in front of the other.
One day after the next.
Step by step.
Day by day.
And every morning, the wheels on the bus will go round and round…
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